Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Struggling with Letting Go

In lieu of my last post about the stories we tell ourselves, I'd like to write a little bit about letting go. Maybe you have worked your way into awareness regarding what is holding you back, maybe you are still pushing forward with discovery. Either way, I can assure you that once you define a story to work through, you will want instant gratification. Awareness doesn't mean success, unfortunately. If you're anything like me, and I believe that most of you are, it's difficult to keep going after you've slipped backwards a few times.

Here is what I propose based on many books that I've read and many wise souls I have had the privilege of talking to: Learn to let go. Set your intention. Be sure it is confident, detailed and positive. Then let go. Unattach yourself from the outcome and see how your intention chooses to manifest itself in your life. Setting strong intentions takes a lot of work and learning to let go of the outcome takes a lot of self control!

Instead of stating that you want to lose weight, use language that is specific: On September 30th at 5 o'clock, I will weigh 130 lbs. By stating this so matter-of-factly, you keep yourself accountable. Instead of stating you want a better job, say something like: I deserve a job that uses my skills and talents. On January 1st, I will have done my research, discovered a better position for myself and will be actively seeking employment in that field.

I was once encouraged by a friend of mine to set my inentions on paper with magazine clippings and then write at the bottom,"This, or something better, is manifesting itself for me right now. I trust the Universe's plan for me."

I love that quote because it reminds me that I might not get exactly what I asked for. You know what? That is okay. Everything has a way of fitting together the way it is supposed to. We have wonderful things working their way into our lives right now. We just aren't aware of them yet. Sometimes what we ask for isn't what we need.

Friends, this is a hard concept to accept. I still struggle with letting go of the intentions I really, really want. We are all still creating our reality and that will never change. It's our responsibility to accept what we've created, continue working to make it better and share the knowledge we know. Often, I find that when I loosen my grip a little bit, everything seems to fall into place. Have you ever experienced this?

Practice this and know that I practice it with you,
Coach Katie

Monday, August 28, 2006

Positive Mantras

In my last post, I talked about creating a positive story, or mantra, to counter any negative stories you catch yourself in. Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. and Traci Harrell have created a website dedicated to positive mantras and attitude shifters that can be downloaded onto an ipod or purchased on CD. Enjoy!

Check them out at:

Clearing out the Critical Clutter

Why can't I seem to keep friends? Why can't I keep a boyfriend? Why am I unhappy in my job? Why is my house such a wreck? Why do I keep getting sick? Why do I seem to be a magnet for bad tidings?

If these questions often circulate through your head, it's time to clear out the clutter. I don't necessarily mean physical clutter either. I am also referring to the critical thinking clutter we allow to take over our thoughts. It makes concentrating on anything hard and it hurts our self esteem. In coaching terms, we call these our stories. We each have certain stories we tell ourselves. Unfortunately, most of the time we don't even know we are being critical of ourselves because those thoughts have become such a part of our subconscious selves.

I'll share a story that I once tortured myself with. One day a friend of mine asked me to go climbing. I was thrilled to be asked as I always seemed to sit back and wait for someone else to do the asking. (Sound familiar?) Shortly after accepting the invitation, I became aware of a thought that went through my head. Almost immediately I said to myself that she was only asking me because she needed a climbing partner. I then noticed a pattern as I ran through a slew of other moments that people "only asked me to join them because..." I did adventurous activities, I had extra gear, they needed someone to go with...etc, etc.

It was a comfortable thought, which scared me. I knew that it was so natural because I had become so accustomed to believing and repeating it. I don't know when the thought started or how long I had been telling myself this story. It was subconscious until I caught myself. What a horrible lie I had been telling myself. I was subtracting my own self worth through a thought I didn't even know I was capable of! Of course these friends wanted me around.

I began practicing a change in attitude to clear out the critical clutter. Instead of thinking people only asked me to do things because they needed to, I began reminding myself that they wouldn't ask if they didn't want me there. Not to mention they didn't have to invite me in the first place! I began asking them to do things, too. This not only made me a better friend (it is a two way road!), but it also reinforced the fact that they wanted me around because they said yes when they could have said no. I then began a personal mantra to flip that story in my head every time I caught myself thinking it.

Not only did I learn something about myself, but I saw how I was hurting my own relationships through it. The time had come to stop blaming others and to stop making excuses. I noticed a pattern and the problems that manifested from it in my personal life. I took control, worked with my coach and came up with a solution to take responsibility. What a wonderful outcome I created! My friends have grown exponentially since then.

I encourage you today to listen to those little thoughts that race through your head. The ones that say you can't do it, you aren't worth it or that no one will care. Take control of your stories, flip them around and make sure you squash them before they do any more damage. Clear out the critical clutter to move forward and live an undeniably happy life because it starts with your actions. You ARE worth it, you CAN do it and I promise, we DO care. You're only as successful, personable and wise as you allow yourself to be. Why hold yourself back?

Love and encouragement,
Coach Katie

Monday, August 07, 2006

Wisdom from Jack Canfield

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it."

I am reading Jack Canfield's THE SUCCESS PRINCIPLES and it is reinforcing everything I have ever known in life. At one point he references something General Wesley Clark told him. General Clark said, "It doesn't take any more energy to create a big dream than it does to create a little one."

This, of course, was in his section on creating a vision. Create your vision and make it big. You have unique talents and gifts. I do not know and will not know who will read this today...or tomorrow...or in ten years. Yet I am still confident that each of you reading this has a natural combination of gifts that no one else on this earth has. You have a voice and you have a purpose. Find what that is, embrace it, follow it and create your life around it. If you do that, nothing can stop you. Nothing is more powerful than a human being with a vision that has excitement, courage and anxiety pushing it forward.

Dream big today,
Coach Katie

Friday, August 04, 2006

Think Deep, Listen Hard and Trust Your Intuition

Artist/Band: Nickel Creek
Lyrics for Song: Hanging By A Thread
Lyrics for Album: This Side
There's a kind of emptiness that can fill you.
There's a kind of hunger that can eat you up.
There's a cold and darker side of the moonlight.
An' there's a lonely side of love.
There's a certain kind of pain that can numb you.
There's a type of freedom that can tie you down.
Sometimes the unexplained can define you,
And sometimes, silence is the only sound.

Wow. This song cut right through me. I had heard it a million times before, but I had not truly LISTENED. That is so true, so often in life. Only when you are ready to listen will your lessons reveal themselves. I was ready to hear what this song had to say. I was prepared to ponder the deeper meaning within myself. I ask that you do the same with them today. Take each line and really think of a time when that was true for you. Sit with each mismatching thought and allow them to melt together forming painful and loving truths about your character. Let those truths sink into your bones and LISTEN to the lessons they have for you.

Think deep today and listen carefully,
Coach Katie