Friday, June 08, 2007

Stuck like Glue

Standing still and watching the scenery is no way to get where you want to go. We’re reaching mid-year and a lot of people start to feel stuck around this time. Even the word feels sticky in your mouth as you pronounce it. Our temperatures are getting hotter and the air is getting thicker. Our springtime bliss is transitioning into summertime meltdown. Motivation isn’t at the top of anyone’s list! And we wonder why we feel stuck…

I think the first question we have to ask is where are you stuck? Is it in your job? In your marriage? In your personal life? What areas do you need refreshment in? Here is the toughest question of the day and I’m going to jump right into it: What are you doing about it?

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again…expecting different results.” ~ Benjamin Franklin


Action is essential to break out of any funk. You can only wallow for so long without getting tired of yourself. Imagine how others are feeling! Really assess what you are doing to break free of the anchor pulling you down. Is it what you’ve always done? Where is that getting you?

I would wager that 90 percent of my clients have found themselves stuck in a comfort pattern. What I mean by that is that they see the problem, but they continue to try to fix it using the same methods. It’s like driving to work on the same road, knowing it’s going to be congested because of construction but not leaving any earlier or trying a different route…and then complaining to your co-workers everyday that you’re late.

If you’re starting to feel like a broken record, you’re probably starting to sound like one, too.


It’s time to pull a Houdini. Do something new – it doesn’t matter what it is. Take a cooking class, start a book club, ask a new friend to lunch. What this does is attract a different type of person to you. What you’re doing now is allowing yourself to remain in a complacent role with friends that won’t push you out of your comfort zone. Once you start seeking out some new perspectives, your answer will come much quicker. Someone might even be able to hand you the key to free you from your shackles.

Try to keep an open mind with new suggestions. Be specific about what you need and why. Your problem so far is that you keep talking about getting to Z, but you keep working hard at X. Ask the right questions to figure out how to reach Y and then Z. Have a clear vision of what Z looks like and it’ll be much easier to solicit ideas, connections and inspiration from others.

Have a vision.

I talk about this one all the time, but here’s a slightly different spin. Come up with an idea. Any massively huge idea will do. It could be a new career, a long vacation or a far fetched connection. Get in the zone with this new vision. Talk about it, plan it, work toward it. You’ll immediately begin feeling better when you have something tangible you are working on. At first you’ll feel a bit rusty and you are! You’ve been stuck! Give it a little time for your muscles to loosen up and before you know it, you’ll be off in a sprint.

Surround yourself with people who support your vision. Having a partner or someone who can be your cheerleader is invaluable. Share your positive energy as you move forward and lean on them when you need help.

Take the first step.
Moving forward in some direction is step one. Momentum starts to flow pretty easily once you get the ball rolling. Standing still, or spinning your wheels applying for the same job you hate, or having the same fight is only going to get you to one place – exactly where you are right now. And, really, how is that working for you?

Keep an eye out for next month’s SHIFT for a follow up to this article with advice on where to begin your first steps!